Fletcher: i learned a good ethics puzzle
Fletcher: suppose a baby has just been born
Fletcher: you have two options: kill the baby now, or wait ten years and then kill it
Fletcher: if you kill them as a baby you get to pick the method
Fletcher: but if you kill them as a ten-year-old, it has to be decapitation
Fletcher: what's the ethical choice?
Lois: Umm
Lois: I suppose we don't get a "why do I have to" here?
Fletcher: because you're unimaginative and those are the only two options you can think of
Fletcher: that's the only reason you have to pick one of them
Lois: Can I pick ten years and then spend the rest of the movie hiding out with the kid and change our names?
Fletcher: no
Fletcher: nobody's forcing you to do this
Fletcher: in this hypothetical scenario, you just don't know of any other options
Dan: Yeah, but you don't want to condemn a kid to ten years with a bad name in a shitty house.
Lois: Why is the name bad and the house shitty?
Dan: It's just a variable you'd want to eliminate.
Lois: Haha
Dan: What's the kid's race?
Fletcher: korean
Dan: Minorities lead a tougher life, which weighs in favor of immediate murder.
Lois: Are you raising the kid or just killing?
Dan: I'm not killing and raising, I'll tell you that much.
Fletcher: it's not your kid, but you know the parents
Fletcher: acquaintances, not close friends
Dan: Are they going to know you killed their kid?
Autumn: Yeah, and are they dicks who shouldn't be breeding?
Fletcher: you could try to do it while they're not looking
Dan: I guess I'd like to have ten years to plan the perfect murder.
Lois: I might not be unethical enough for this challenge
Dan: Look, if we're taking this seriously, whether you get caught is a big consideration.
Dan: Ten years gives you time to plan, but a newborn will be much easier to kill.
Dan: But newborns aren't left alone often.
Dan: I actually think it would be harder to kill the newborn immediately than the kid in ten years.
Dan: Man, even accidentally killing a newborn could really inconvenience you.
Dan: I'm a procrastinator, I would kill the ten-year-old, no doubt.
Lois: If you wait ten years you have to chop off his head
Lois: Them's the rules
Dan: There are other ways to decapitate someone.
Dan: Could I pay someone else to do it?
Fletcher: sure
Autumn: No.
Autumn: You're too much of a cheapskate.
Autumn: You-Dan, not you-crazy-hypothetical.
Lois: Fletcher, is this actually just a hypothetical question?
Fletcher: everything is actually just a hypothetical question

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