Autumn: Goddamnit, Shannon wants me to take his dog to the vet.
Autumn: Now I'm going to have to go outside.
Lois: Why should you have to do that?
Lois: He should take responsibility for his own dog
Autumn: Because he's paying me to write a book.
Iris: is the book about dog chauffeurs?
Iris: is it "I Move Dogs Around For No Reason: The Autumn Morgan Story"?
Iris: the action-packed thriller
Iris: in a world where nobody should care about dogs
Iris: one asshole has to cart them around like an idiot
Autumn: "Guest Starring: The Overpriced Vet Who Requires In-Person Dropoffs"
Iris: you'll be reading on the edge of your seat as she stupidly decides to carry a dog through a field
Iris: twist ending: the dog was dead the whole time
Iris: double twist: even if it was alive, so what
Lois: Seriously, why is this your job?
Lois: That can't be part of the writing gig
Autumn: No, but if I piss him off he might call me on the fact that I've been "working" on the book for a few years now and it's still not close to written
Lois: Ohhh
Autumn: This honestly wouldn't be that bad as his errands go, except that I hate going outside.
Autumn: The colors are really unpleasant.
Lois: Yeah, yeah, you're giving real life a 3/10 for graphics
Autumn: You know how for movies, they have a guy whose job is to plan out the lighting color palette or whatever it's called? If they just shoot a scene outside with natural light, no filters or postprocessing or anything, it looks objectively, measurably, worse.
Autumn: Because, surprise, a random assortment of dirt and buildings in sunlight isn't actually optimized for aesthetic value.
Iris: Autumn's Life 2: Autumn Whines About Colors
Iris: Autumn's Life 3: Autumn Explodes in a Shower of Whale Guts
Autumn: I wonder if I could write a short story about the dog instead of doing the vet trip.
Iris: Autumn's Life 4: The Dumb Fatty
Iris: Autumn's Life 5: The Voyage Home
Iris: Autumn's Life 6: It's Time to Pay the Price
Iris: Autumn's Life 7: The New Batch -- of Whale Guts
Iris: Autumn's Life 8: Convergence
Autumn: I could tell him I've been "struck by inspiration" and need to finish getting it down.
Iris: Autumn's Life 9: Bring in Da Funk, Bring in Da Noise
Iris: Autumn's Life 10: Golden Receiver
Iris: Autumn's Life 11: Remake of Autumn's Life 3: Autumn Explodes in a Shower of Whale Guts
Autumn: It wouldn't be that hard to churn out, nobody cares about quality when you write about pets.
Iris: Autumn's Life 12: Whale Guts in Space
Iris: Autumn's Life 13: Salazar's Revenge
Autumn: He gets angry when he's able to tell something was easy to write, is the problem.
Iris: Autumn's Life 14: The Prequel
Iris: Autumn's Life 15: Autumn into Darkness
Autumn: I should just do what Mary did, and write a book so confusing nobody can figure out whether it's good or bullshit.
Iris: Autumn's Life 16: fffffffffffffffffff............
Autumn: For the ultimate in looking deep with low effort.
Mary: You're saying that as an attempt to insult, but you should know by now that I don't mind that description of Eidophusikon. In fact, I wish more of my readers thought I was trying to confuse them into being unsure of its quality. It's not the case, but it might get them thinking along the right lines.
Iris: Autumn's Life 17: fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.fffffffffh......ffffffff..........flluhhhhhhh............fhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........
Iris: Autumn's Life 18: A New Beginning
Iris: tell shannon I expect payment for these titles first thing tomorrow

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