Lois: Is there a way to just decide for myself who gets my charity money?
Dan: No. Well, technically, yes, but not any way that you'd be happy with.
Dan: Your best bet is probably to find some leper and put the money directly into his rotting hands.
Lois: Is leprosy even still a thing?
Dan: I don't know.
Dan: I know leprosy charities are still a thing, but that doesn't necessarily mean much. Charities can outlive their causes.
Dan: A guy I work with has an anti-drunk-driving cause in his cancellation pool.
Dan: He says it's surprisingly easy to match charities against it these days.
Autumn: Now that everyone's pro-drunk driving?
Dan: Either that or anti-sober-driving, or anti-drunk-
Dan: I thought I could come up with a funny opposite for "driving," but I couldn't.
Autumn: parking
Autumn: Because you PARK on a DRIVEway, but you DRINK on a STALACTITE!
Hawaii: we should start a charity for some extinct dinosaur
Hawaii: stegosaurus preservation society
Hawaii: and cancel out all the charity money from people who are fine with stegosauruses being dead

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