Autumn: Dan's job is making it so when you give money to charity it goes to a different charity instead. Dan: That's essentially accurate. Lois: Wait, really? Dan: The more positive spin would be that I make it so that when your donations would do nothing, they do something instead. Dan: But both of those are true, really. Dan: Whether it's good or bad for you as donator varies a lot from case to case. Lois: I gave $20 to Unconditional Sharing last year Lois: What did you do to it? Dan: My group doesn't handle Unconditional Sharing. Well, not directly, at least. Our policy decisions do have some impact on how their funds get cancelled a few steps further down, but that's not really what you're asking about. Dan: Other people with the same job as me would have taken that $20, along with $20 that some idiot gave to an anti-piracy group, and given $40 to people planting trees in Africa. Lois: Seriously? Lois: Why Africa? Dan: Maybe not that exactly, but something developing world-related. Dan: It wouldn't be anywhere in Asia, that's considered non-neutral for IP causes. Autumn: That's racist, isn't it? Dan: I don't think so, but it's a moot point. Dan: When the people running charities are racist, having the cancellation procedures reflect that is actually the right thing to do! Dan: It might sound bad, but the alternatives end up being worse in terms of incentives. Lois: So my money didn't actually help with copyright stuff? Autumn: It helped Dan stuff his pockets! Dan: It helped stop an equivalent anti-piracy donation from doing anything to make copyright stuff even worse. Dan: It probably didn't cancel out a full $20, because anti-piracy people are usually better at leveraging. Dan: Whatever actual impact Unconditional Sharing could get with $20, you cancelled out the amount of money that an anti-piracy group would have used to get the same impact on the other side. Lois: So then neither side does anything Dan: They do if one of them gets more money than the other. Dan: Weighted by effectiveness, I mean. Dan: There's a lot of considerations that go into the formula. Lois: None of this is anything like what they said they were going to do with my donation Dan: They probably had it in fine print. Nobody likes to highlight how donations really work. Autumn: Lois, think of it this way. Autumn: It's like you're trying to order a pizza. Dan: I guarantee this will not be a good way to think of it. Autumn: And I'm trying to order thai food. Autumn: And Dan's the one who takes our money before we can give it to the delivery drones. Autumn: Then he buys himself a submarine sandwich that stretches from his bed to his toilet. Autumn: So he can wake up and eat his way to his morning shit. Dan: It's nothing like that, because that sounds like something I'd derive pleasure from doing. Autumn: The sandwich is full of live mice and vomit. Dan: Now you're talking.
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