What would you like to order?

• Fresh-baked pretzel with a dot of mayonnaise
• Jalapeño peppers stuffed with tofu
• 6 potato skins with bacon, cheese, and macaroni
• Beef kebabs coated in 12% cocoa chocolate
• String beans with too much salt
• Pork tenderloin served with polenta, a dash of nutmeg, and candy dots and sprinkles
• Oscar Mayer hot dogs on a bed of iceberg lettuce
• "To the victor go the COILS": a burger topped with metal coils and mustard
• Candy seashell in which you can hear the echo of a drowning man's cries for help
• Lobster dashed against rocks, topped with ketchup dots and peanut butter dots
• Toasted bread crumbs in a lukewarm tomato broth
• 5 meat medley: beef, pork, chicken, bison, and goat, all blended into a delicious slurry
• Chocolate Dippin' Dots served in an upcycled dot matrix printer, as featured on marthastewart dot com
• Eggplant donuts paired with a glass of Sauvignon blanc
• 6 sticks of butter, only some of which have human remains inside
• Fresh seasonal vegetables on a lattice of 20-year-old french fries
• Chicken penne with Romeo sauce (do not ask what this is)
• Cassava roots fresh from Sierra Leone, still covered in dirt
• Hummingbird bones on a plate your parents used to have when you were little
• Punctuation pizza, topped with semicolons, em dashes, en dashes, curly brackets, and a dash of Romano cheese
• Carbonated water containing live minnows and dyed black

If you've got an answer, change "funmenu" in this page's URL to it (still all lowercase, with no spaces) to see if you've got it right!