(This puzzle was originally a printout styled to look like the WMATA website's announcements of track work, but recreating that here would take more effort than it's worth.)
Advisory Effective: 5/6/19 - 5/10/19
Green Line:
Gallery Place and L'Enfant Plaza are closed for scheduled track work. Impact on riders is expected to be minimal.
As part of our continuing improvement program, stations with names that are only one word are closed until they can be appropriately lengthened. Please note that this does not affect Archives-Navy Memorial-Penn Quarter, as its name is already a reasonable length. However, Archives-Navy Memorial-Penn Quarter is closed for unrelated reasons.
All "Heights" stations are permanently closed so we can make the tracks level.
Stations connecting to MARC have been annexed by MARC and no longer provide Metro service. We regret the inconvenience and are planning a counterattack.
Trains will no longer service stations with names that share a word with the name of an Orange Line station, because they were confusing the announcers.
All stations exactly two stops away from Congress Heights are closed. That's just a really awkward distance from it.
In honor of the 28th anniversary of 1991, stations that opened that year have been cordoned off as historically preserved spaces, free from anachronistic elements like people from 2019.
The name of the station still in service is operating with single tracking. Passengers are advised to use only the first word of its name as their answer.